Thursday, November 17, 2011
My life's not perfect but it's a life guided by faith...
I haven’t written a post in a few months. I’m still trying to get acclimated to North Carolina and our life here. I have a lot to say but wasn't sure if this was the forum to share it. I decided to take a chance on that today. There’s a lot going on but it’s more so inside of me than environmentally. I don’t want to sound as if I have a life of perfection. I DON’T. I have a life of faith, which makes it appear that way.
I have been in places where I never wanted to be. I’ve survived things that I didn’t think I would. Nothing like addiction or abuse but things that I had to go through to get where I am. So, now it’s a chapter that I have embraced fully and things affect me differently. I want to stand on top of the mountaintop and scream daily how grateful I am. I don’t but I do pray and tell God more than once a day how grateful I am.
I’m thankful for the pain I’ve gone through because I know I wouldn’t be me today. I hated it with every fiber of my being when I was going through it. However, I now better understand its purpose. I in no way live a perfect life. There are a few things that I’m lacking but because I’ve been through worse sometimes I don’t even notice.
My problems are the same as others but I have learned the art of seeing the good in the bad. When faced with loss I will allow myself to grieve and not give myself an expiration date on the way I feel. Death is another thing all together. However, when I am tossed things from here and there I give myself a few minutes to be annoyed and then I have to move on. I haven’t figured out how to deal with inconsiderate drivers. I don’t have road rage but they know how to increase my blood pressure. Remember… I’m not perfect!
Wisdom and faith have carried me to a better place. I am not trying to push religion on anyone. It’s what is best for me. My relationship with God is powerful. I asked Him, the last time I was in the valley, “Please just help me get through this, Lord. If you help me, I will promise to never look back.” I know you’re not supposed to bargain with God. He is not a man. I did. I am human so I did what I needed to do at the time. It has aided my growth because I have to keep my promise. As always, He kept His.
My Nana used to say, and my mother still says, “When I tell you about the goodness of Jesus!” That’s what I’m living. In life you have to find your place. Jesus, God, G-d, Jehovah, or whatever you call Him, is for me. You have to find what is best for you. We all have trying times, some more than others, but once you get through them you MUST grow. If you don’t every trial and pain will be the same with no lesson learned. Find what is best for you to aid in your healing and daily living.